Overcoming The Loneliness of Leadership

There is an inescapable truth connected to leadership. The further you progress in your career and achieve increasing levels of seniority and responsibility, the risk of experiencing isolation and loneliness from this new position is always present.

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"It is lonely at the top, but the view is magnificent."

Normally the feelings of isolation, don’t immediately take route straight after the promotion. There is that buzz that accompanies promotion; but after a few months the congratulations stop coming through on LinkedIn and the challenges of that seniority really become apparent.

That is when our trusty friend imposter syndrome likes to rear their head and pour petrol on the fire that is our insecurity. We begin to forget what we do well and all the reasons that led to our promotion in the first place. It is at this point that the feelings of vulnerability and isolation, normally make their appearance.

Strategies to overcome loneliness.

Get comfortable looking in the mirror.

Before you reach out, you must get comfortable and regularly look within. Engaging in introspection, exploring the feelings that loneliness creates can provide invaluable strategies for dealing with it.

"Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." C.G. Jung

Here are a few questions that the officers and members I coach have found useful:

• How often do you seek advice or support from people outside your core group of executives or advisors?

• Who do you rely on for emotional support or guidance outside your immediate circle?

• How do you ensure you take care of yourself and maintain a healthy work-life balance despite the demands of your leadership role?

• What steps do you take to build connections and create a sense of community within your professional field?

• Can you recall times when you felt particularly isolated or alone? How did you handle those situations, and what strategies did you use to overcome those feelings?

Find your tribe.

Although you have left the comfort of the team that you were previously in, there will be people either within your company or in external networks that are in the same position, or have previously and they can give you a safe space to find support and advice. Developing that network and making an effort to help those in that group creates a psychological safety net. There is a comfort in knowing that however pear shaped the day is going there are those, whom you invested in the time to know and trust, who have your back. Who will give you honest and objective advice.

Health is wealth.

You are of no use to anyone if you burn yourself out. You need to check in with yourself ahead and truly ask yourself, what makes you happy. What are the manageable factors that you can manage. Then, you need to develop a routine and habits that support the perseveration of your health and wellbeing.

One of the main areas that I find I see in my coaching sessions, is failure to create proper boundaries between work and home life. In this digitally enabled world, it is now so easy to never really switch off, to work longer, to never really be present at home. Create a set of habits to act as a safety switch, so that you retain that work, life divide. But, it is so much more than the physical boundaries that you are preserving here, it is the energy that is drained from digital interactions. When you are at home, switch off.  

There is strength to be found in vulnerability.

The toxic repressed emotion leadership style popularised by society in former generations, has thankfully began to be eroded. One of the critical components that staff want from their leaders above is authenticity.

"Vulnerability is not weakness, it's our most accurate measure of courage." Brené Brown

It is proven that emotionally intelligent leaders, are normally better equipped to produce more productive and resilient teams. How can we expect to develop that infrastructure and skill set beneath us, if we do not in fact share our vulnerability.

Will Godfrey, Chief Executive of Bath and North East Somerset Council, recently featured on the TALG podcast, where he openly discussed that those in positions of authority opening up is incredibly powerful for you and your teams.

We are all humans and it is an unhealthy perception that leaders don't experience difficulties in their careers.

After Will's brother took his life in August of last year, Will has been on a journey to understand himself and to also bring to light this often undiscussed topic in leadership.

Giving people access to your personal world develops a depth of trust and respect that truly is not only a cure to loneliness but also to break down the barriers of isolation that comes with the job title. Apart from making you feel better, this dynamic in the work place, creates psychological safety, that in turn promotes innovation, a positive relationship with failure and higher levels of productivity and resilience. If emotional availability was a pill, we would always be recommend to take it once a day.

In conclusion, there is no way of completely escaping loneliness as you progress throughout your career, but what you can do is take control and became an active participant in using the strategies we have discussed in this blog. Looking within, finding your tribe, retaining clear boundaries between work and home and embracing vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness, will develop into an authentic leader, with the stamina and endurance to  thrive and help remove the burden that comes with being a leader. With the weight off your shoulders, it suddenly becomes easier to walk up the mountain ahead, embracing the journey and enjoying the view atop of the mountain.

This blog post was sponsored by Local Partnerships LLP, who help local authorities to deliver projects and implement changes efficiently. They offer expertise in climate adaptation, energy efficiency, waste management, housing, infrastructure, procurement, and digital transformation, ensuring excellent value for money and meeting key priorities.